when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died
i hate it when guys ask me how lesbian sex works jesus chrIST it is NOT THAT FUCKING COMPLEX???? THEY ARE STILL VAGINAS ITS NOT LIKE WHEN THEY GET IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO EACH OTHER THEY SUDDENLY TRANSMOGRIFY. THEY WORK EXACTLY THE SAME AS STRAIGHT VAGINAS. what the fUCK do you think goes on jesus christ
nnICK OH MY GOD
Jack was employed into service for the East India Trading Company and was given command of the Wicked Wench. However, after he set free a cargo of slaves, his employer, Cutler Beckett, had Jack branded as a pirate and the Wench set aflame and sunk. After failing to rescue the Wench, Sparrow struck a bargain with the ghostly captain of the Flying Dutchman, Davy Jones, to resurrect his beloved vessel. Jones returned the ship to Jack in near perfect condition except for the permanently charred hull. This prompted Jack to rename her the Black Pearl.
Jack Sparrow just got way cooler.
The only kind of marks you should ever leave on a dog.
I’ve reblogged this photo so many times & that’s my favorite comment on a photo in the history of the world.
I wonder if the Doctor keeps throwing it out into black holes or something but it keeps reappearing in really passive-aggressive places.
#Materialises on the ceiling and then just falls on top on his head at some point #appears on his chair #in the air conditioning #READ ME DOCTOR READ ME #it materialises inside a bag of crisps #like he goes to eat some crisps #but NOPE TARDIS MANUAL #replaces his favourite shirt or something
page number one just says PULL TO OPEN in enormous letters
if you’re ever with a group of people and everyone is arguing loudly about many different things just yell I WILL TAKE IT! I WILL TAKE THE RING TO MORDOR!
I DID THIS DURING OUR LANGUAGE ARTS DEBATE AND MY TEACHER SLOWLY GOT UP FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM AND WALKED BEHIND HER DESK AND THEN I GOT FREE CANDY FROM MY TEACHER
give to me.
WHERE CAN I BUY THIS????